Before I get into the 10 Urgent Online Rules to Teach Your Children, let me give you a little bit of background information on what made me write this.
I have been deep into the internet for over 15 years. And, no I am not talking about 15 years of sitting online looking at cool websites and posting jokes on Facebook. I'm talking about 15 years of website development, e-commerce management, lead generation and Internet Marketing. More specifically, a large portion of my career has been spent on search engine optimization and management. In case you don't know what that is. Simply put, I take personal and company websites and get them to rank highly in Google, Yahoo and Bing for specific keywords that generate them traffic which results in business.
Well, recently I have been into what is known as Reputation Management and Online Identities. So in other words, what is a company's reputation if I Google them. Or, what does it look like if I Google you? What I have found is utterly amazing. I'm not going to talk about the corporate side of Reputation Management here, but what I am getting at is your personal identity online and more specifically, your child's.
Why am I worried about what shows up if I Google a child's name you ask? I'm not worried, I am petrified and if you could see some of the repercussions that I have seen online, you would be as well. As a person, you have two best case scenarios for this; 1) When your name is searched, nothing shows up about you 2) When your name is searched, the information about you is positive.
Here's where we get into the scary part. Let's pretend you have a son who is 17 and you search his name on Google. Now, in the search results in the 2nd result down, you see a title with your son's name and right next to it you see the word rapist. You open the link to find a page from some website that has a lengthy write-up about your son being a rapist, etc..
Come to find out, his ex girlfriend did it to get back at him for breaking up with her. Ok... now tell me how you get that page to disappear. I could tell you but it would take about 30 articles and It's not at all easy and it's very costly.
Point of this whole thing is as long as that negative comment shows up, do you think your son will ever get into college?
Nope.
A Job?
No Way!
Another Girlfriend?
Ha!
You must understand that EVERYONE knows they can find information on a person real quick by simply searching their name.
You see, I have children who all have computers, email addresses and Facebook accounts. And let me tell you, it's not easy to keep up with what they do wrong online and how many viruses they get. So, anyway I have lately been quietly working on ensuring they have a positive online identity for their future.
So, instead of trying to tell them all the time what they should or shouldn't do, I wrote an Online Rulebook of sorts for them and I thought I would share it.
Rule #1 - Never, ever post a picture of yourself anywhere online that could be considered inappropriate.
Why: We all post pictures of ourselves doing fun stuff on Facebook and Flickr, etc.. However you need to make sure pictures are not the racy kind and I'm sure you all know what I am talking about.
Example: A few months ago I remember hearing on the radio about a young girl (14, I think at the time) who had taken one of those cellphone photo's of herself in the mirror with a very low-cut top on basically squeezing her front region together to make herself appear older and more uhhh.. endowed I guess.
Well, she proceeded to take that photo and post it on Facebook. And, apparently after a short while someone from her school took that photo and emailed it around the school, etc. Needless to say, things got so bad for the girl that she had to quit school and has been home schooled ever since due to the ridiculing.
Rule #2 - Never talk bad about a person online
Why: You may get mad at a person, it happens all of the time. However, you should never post negative comments online about that person. They cannot be easily removed. Think for a moment if you saw a bad comment about you somewhere online. Or what if someone else seen that comment? This could start a very bad progression of events.
Example: Suzie gets upset with you because you stole her boyfriend. She goes on Twitter and Tweets that "your name here" is a vicious #$%^ which sends out to her 1,343 followers. Seems like it could get bad, huh? So, don't ever do it to someone, because this would not only be devastating to you, but Suzy as well.
Rule #3 - Make sure your address, phone number, and email address is not publicly visible
Why: The internet is an invisible wall for people to hide behind. You really don't know who is on the other side of that wall. The last thing you would ever want is for some random person to have any of your contact information. Like I said you may not really know who they are or how dangerous they may be.
Rule #4 - Stop using that PC cam now!
Why: Well, there are a number of reasons you shouldn't use a computer cam. But, let me just touch on the first two.
1) It is relatively easy for the camera on your computer or laptop to be hacked. Once it is hacked, the "hacker" is then able use your camera to spy on you or anything in view of your camera. I suggest disabling your camera on your computer so this doesn't happen.
2) Is there really a need if you are communicating online that you see them face to face. Unless it is a relative ro close friend that you are talking with, you are opening yourself up to all kinds of problems. The person on the other end can always take snap shots of you or the environment around you while connected. Then depending on what pictures were taken, what can they find out about you?
Rule #5 - Don't lie about your age
Why: If you're 13 years old, don't start posting everywhere online that you're 17 just to look cool. This brings the wrong expectations to anyone that thinks you really are 17.
Rule #6 - Don't sign up for unapproved junk
Why: I know their seems to be a lot of cool stuff out their on the web. But, please resist that urge to enter your email address to win a free iPad. If it sounds too good to be true, then it likely is. This is how you get viruses and spyware that will cause parents to pull their hair out trying to get rid of it.
Rule #7 - If you have never met a person face to face, be cautious of them to ensure you really know who they are
Why: Too many people lie online to either make themselves look good or took take advantage of someone else.
Rule #8 - Before you make a comment on a social media site like Facebook or Twitter, pause for a minute to re-read your comment to make sure you really want this to be seen and could this comment cause you a problem in the future
Why: Too often people respond quickly to comments and unfortunately make their own comments that will either offend or upset someone else. It takes less than 30 seconds to review your post to make sure you know what you're saying and even if you should be saying it.
Rule #9 - Your social media friends should never be 400
Why: Believe it or not, but it not an online popularity contest. Of the 400 people you have befriended on Facebook, you likely only know 20 of them. Do those other 380 people need to know everything about what you do?
Rule #10 - Do not go to ANY chat rooms
Why: Actual chat rooms are pretty much a thing of the past, however they do still exist. I will point back to rule #3 in that the internet is an invisible wall and chat rooms are a perfect example. For every 10 people in a chat room, only 1 is telling the truth about who they really are.
I'm sure I could come up with more rules that should be followed, but the above list can pretty much ensure your child does not cross too many lines and maintains a positive identity online. The internet is a wonderful place for a child if used properly and you should never discourage them from being online. They are learning so many things online at such a fast pace, that we as parents just need to ensure they are learning the right things.
